Blogging Isn’t For the Confused

I think about this site every day. And every day, I chose to ignore it.

I think the problem is that I’ve made this site about camping when, in fact, I am so much more than camping. I’ve struggled with keeping this site up or starting another blog where I can express the things going on in my life.  And, there is a lot going on.

• I’m married
• I have four kids (all are active in extracurricular activities)
• I work full time (35 hours a week)
• In one form or another, I am involved in more than 5 ministries at my church.
• I’m managing the care of a mother who has a traumatic brain injury.
• I’m involved in United Way’s African American Leadership Development Program.
• I’m wrapped up in the Word of Faith.
• I’m experiencing some issues with my body.

And this list is a high-level overview of what’s going on. I don’t know if you can relate. But life is hectic. I started blogging as a way to share my camping experience with the rest of the world. I kept all my posts very “safe” . But anyone who knows me… I mean really knows me knows that I am far from “safe”. When I am true to myself, I can be a bit over the top. But I am not offensive. I love those around me and have a heart to see everyone live out loud.

I like to be transparent. But that can be hard when others around you are superficial. I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I’m frustrated with people trying to live as if life is a bed of roses. Yes. They’ll tell you everything is okay, but they’re lives are just as complicated as everyone else. If I had the courage to be honest and shared on this blog what I’d share with my closest friend, some of you would probably recommend some counseling.

There Are Places I Can’t Go

Some would say that I have some extreme views on life issues. Some would say that I think too hard. Some would say that I don’t care about anything and just crack jokes and laugh. Again, those closest to me would tell you that I will get deep on you to the point that your head will spin. There are many who don’t know that side of me because I choose to not go there with them. Not everyone can “go” to those places.

Regarding posting my views on the Internet; the world is filled with people who enjoy and take great pleasure in being oppositional and hurtful to the point of being abusive. You’ve seen their ignorant and offensive comments on the news and YouTube. I don’t want that in my life. I know who I am and I know that I’d have a hard time not taking such comments personal. There are places I can’t go.

So before I go off one of my tangents, I need to take a few steps back and return to the topic at hand. The title for this post is “Blogging Isn’t For the Confused. And honestly, I’m confused right now and feel like I’m in a midst of craziness. I want to scream and tell you why I’m tripp’n! But, I’m still searching for the truth and I’m not ready to take my stand until I have the facts.

Changing the Direction of My Blog

I desire to start blogging about the issues I face in life. But I’ve own the url, BlackCampers, and I’m not sure what I want to do with that. If I were to change the name, I don’t know what I’d call it. I’m not sure if changing the direction of a blog is a good thing. I don’t do this to have anyone follow me. But at the same time, I don’t want to come across as confused. But wait…. I AM CONFUSED. And, blogging isn’t for the confused. So I need to get myself together.